Milo Academy faces lawsuit over sexual abuse allegations
The News Review
October 31, 2008
A lawsuit has been filed against the Milo Adventist Academy over allegations that a woman who served as an assistant coach, instructor and choir leader at the Days Creek-area boarding school sexually abused a 15-year-old female student.
The suit, filed Thursday in Multnomah County Circuit Court, alleges that the woman groomed and sexually abused the girl in 2007 and 2008.
Neither the alleged victim nor the accused woman are named in the lawsuit, which seeks up to $100,000 in damages for past and future counseling and medical expenses and $3 million for psychological suffering and damage.
The suit essentially blames the academy for allowing the alleged abuse to occur, as well as for failing to properly investigate the woman’s background, then for retaining her even once information came to light that she had a history of inappropriate sexual misconduct with children in the past.
“We believe we can prove that there was information they could have learned that should have prevented them from bringing her on at all,” said Portland attorney Kelly Clark, who filed the suit along with Coos Bay attorney Bill McDaniel.
The Oregon Conference of Seventh-Day Adventists and the Western Oregon Conference and Southern Oregon Conference Associations of Seventh-day Adventists are also named as defendants in the lawsuit.
Herald Follett, general counsel for the Seventh-day Adventists Church in Oregon, said this morning he had not heard of the lawsuit and had no comment at this time. The academy’s principal, Randy Bovee, also declined to comment.
Clark, who regularly handles child sexual abuse cases including those against the Catholic Church and other organizations, said he believed the accused woman was some sort of part-time volunteer at the school.
The woman, who Clark said was in her early twenties, assisted with coaching, instructing and choir. The alleged victim was a member of choir and participated on several sports teams.
Clark said the teen’s parents ended up finding out about the alleged abuse, which was reported to the school. He said the parents did not press criminal charges.
He said he didn’t know if the woman was still working or volunteering with the school. The teen has since moved out of state with her family.
Clark called the case a “very sad story” and said the teen continues to suffer emotionally and spiritually.
“She’s struggling,” he said.
February 15th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Brandon ( I assume your a student at the said school?)
Your response is typical by the way and why it takes victimes for ever and a day to have the courage to speak out.
People who abuse quite often do it right under other peoples noses. They become very fine tuned at testing the waters on what’s safe what THEY can get away with.
I was taken to a printing room in the 1970′s by a SDA headmaster while 100 odd students waited for me to return inconsolable. One of the students asked me what was wrong and I said I had gotten into trouble for telling mummy fibs about mr…
He was about to conduct the whole school singing ‘cleans me Oh Lord’ they waited for us to return. While I stood there having a panic attack he put a stick and a metre ruller inside my mouth to get my fingers out of my mouth (put there for comfort no doubt)again an audiaence of at least 100 present.
one thing you and I have in common (can’t spell to save our life)
but in the mean time think twice before you make clueless comments and let the justice system work the issues through.
I will be denigned justice for any of this though because I come from a country that doesn’t react to abuse of this sort.
February 18th, 2009 at 9:15 am
Hi Elizabeth,
An old MAA student here, and also a victim of rape in the Adventist church. Some friends have a support network starting. I hope you’ll check it out. Email me at ihatescreennames17@hotmail.com
Whether you decide to join or write or whatever, best of luck to you. I’m doing my best to help myself and those of my friends who have been hurt by this–you deserve both justice and healing as does the young girl in this news release. This should never have happened.
Take Care.
March 17th, 2009 at 12:24 am
Elizabeth, i know the 2 parties personally and theres no way..not ever…this all started as a rumor, eventually the girls dean heard it and reported it to the principal and the parents…the parents freaked and the story goes on…now milo faces a unnecessary lawsuit because the parents herd a uninvestigated rumor and saw a opportunity to get rich.
…money is the root of all evil
this whole thing is lame
March 28th, 2009 at 1:35 am
Brandon still better to allow the justice system to decide these issues, afterall a statement of claim has been filed already. On face value at this stage there is someone in a postion of power and responsibility and someone not yet at the age of majority(full)responsibly possibly still going thought all those feelings of confusion that we have when we are growing up.
If you want to talk about it my email is lillyput77@live.com.au p.s sorry I bit your head off before- you pushed my buttons so to speak:-)
March 29th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
Brandon,
I don’t know the parties involved in this, you’re right. But I did go to Milo in the 1999-2000 school year. Check me out. My maiden name is Stevenson. You can also find my Uncle Virgil in the Nam era, on the walls. You’ll also find two of my close cousins pinned to Milo hallways. As well as at least one person who was hurt by the same individual I was, one individual who was hurt in two separate episodes at Milo in (I believe) 1998. Besides being raped by serial pedophile Scott Harrison, I, myself, was hurt by a volunteer’s husband at Milo–he masturbated in front of me as the woman was out of the school van. He never touched me, but certainly, it was an uncomfortable situation. I mean, his wife came back into the van, and I was just sitting there, quiet, red-faced. I mentioned feeling uncomfortable to Mrs. McGill, and she was so frustrated at me, probably for not showing up for class/work, that she insinuated I shouldn’t go to the doctor so much.
Mrs. McGill and I didn’t get on while I was there. But there was that day both I and another girl who had been sexually abused tried to kill ourselves (no, we didn’t purposefully do it at the same time.) I’m sure she came forward for a reason. If really she came forward of her own free will, I commend her for coming forward about this. Heaven knows I wish she caught me trying to kill mself so I would have gotten help for my situation alot sooner.
And trust me. I was Kelly’s first Adventist client, and we had an open friendship, we had to. Part of his job was to familiarize himself with how I was raped as a child and how my brain works. By his own words, he will rarely take cases that aren’t good, only lawyers paid by taxes will do that. In my case they sent investigators to every corner of my life. If I’d been lying, they’d have figured it out. Rumors don’t make money. I had to have some hard proof, not just of the rapes themself, but of church culpability before any lawyer would sign me on.
Also, I went to the church from 2001 to 2007, begging for help. I was prepared to sign papers saying I would never sue if they would pay for my therapy bills. When I went to them for help at the age of 16 I spoke with Alf Birch. He sent me on to the head of Risk Management who in a short period of time was telling me it was my fault I’d been raped in the sanctuary because “you shouldn’t have been walking around.” They also tried to get me to sign a piece of paper saying it had never happened. The spiritual fallout from that cold conversation was intense. Suffice it to say, I had a hard time.
I was a suicidal sixteen year old child. They sent me to Risk Management? Was I really such a risk? I needed to be “managed?”
I was also told “nobody else is here complaining” by Pastor Gary Parks when I went to him when I’d heard about another young girl being raped by a school acquaintance in one of the rooms I’d been digitally penetrated in.
And money? The Adventist church settled for approximately 25 times what I asked for counseling in my final phone call directed to the Conference President. They probably spent more than that on attorney bills.
As Dan Allender says, “people can sue over a wrecked car but not a wrecked life?” Don’t judge this girl. You know her, okay, but you don’t know the situation as well as you think you do, so if you have a compassionate bone in your body, keep quiet. If you need someone to talk to, go write Pastor Carl. He’s someone I trust, I’m sure you trust him, and he’ll set you straight. It’s incredibly hurtful, these rumors. They’ve hurt me more than I can say, and I’ll be damned if I don’t stand up for this very brave young girl as rumors go around about her.
And as for coming forward with my name? Certainly I would prefer to remain anonymous. But that was kind of blown for me when the church investigators went to all my old friends, told them who I was and why I was suing. Nice one, Oregon Conference. Your love washes over me like a bucketful of coals. BTW, I’ll be sure that my precious babies never, ever, ever walk in a church, attended or unattended, courtesy of advice from Adventist Risk Management.
I guess I should just be grateful, my mother didn’t get sued like Mama Doe in the South Salem Pumford case did.
July 6th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
I am a former Alumni of Milo but no longer Adventist.
It breaks my heart to read this. I had a great time going to school there. It was not perfect but there were never rumors of this magnatude.
If I had incountered this within 10 years of my graduation I would have defended Milo with all my might. Now given decades of life experiance I know that people can do horible things, evil things, and justify it to themselves.
What rings true to me is how some in the Adventist church and comunity can so whole heartedly beleive that they are chosen they won’t stop to question there own asumptions.
In an isolated comunity extra vigalance needs to be taken to protect those that can be abused. If Milo and the Adventist church does not do everything they can to protect the youth and those they have under there care then these questions and lawsuits must happen.
I don’t pray very often but I will pray for those involved in the lawsuit. I pray they can find peace.
October 29th, 2009 at 11:33 am
As a Milo alumnus, a child sex-abuse survivor, child of Adventist teachers, and a mental health counselor for 20 years working with many sex-abuse victims, I was very interested to read all the comments. I’d like to make several points:
#1 – we can NEVER say we know someone “would never do such a thing”. It happens all the time (how many times in the news have you read about a horrible murder, and all the friends and family members say they would never believe the criminal could have done someone like that – OJ Simpson comes to mind, for one).
#2 – there is a history in the Adventist church AND MOST EVERY OTHER DENOMINATION, plus Christian schools and PUBLIC schools of covering up sex abuse. It is getting much better. I know nothing of this case, but in recent years I was involved with the Oregon conference staff in bringing resolution to a number of victims (one from decades ago)and really appreciated the leadership’s attitude that justice must be done.
#3 – God is the ultimate healer. We don’t have to be “victims for life.” After suffering the effects of sexual abuse for over 40 years, I finally went public (even my husband had never known) and the Lord brought complete healing to my life.
October 29th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
Darlene,
Are you the same Darlene who stood mumly by as the Adventist forum questioned why I allowed myself to be raped at the age of 7?
If so, my family and I can do completely without your savage help, regardless of whether God is on your shoulder giving you verbatim command.
December 16th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
glad I found this site.
I was the victim of child abuse. I was drugged , raped and a child porn flick was produced. the man in whose home this occurred was a dear family friend and the offender. everyone admired how this simple small time baker, became quite wealthy. no one knew his dirty little secret. child pornography.
that family was very popular in our SDA school and church in SoCal. he was a leader of some sort in the church but not employed by the conference. the church and school gave him access to many unsuspecting victims and material to rape and video. The man was insincere, if not making jokes , he was talking money and how to get ahead. church goers are he felt, gullible and a bunch of suckers.
Family is incredulous. NO WAY this could happen, “YOU ARE A LIAR, SELFISH, WHY DID YOU WAIT SO LONG, YOU’RE AFTER MONEY, YOU’RE GONNA GIVE HIM A HARD TIME IN HIS OLD AGE etc.. etc..”
Those who want to keep quiet and say nothing once they have realized what happened to them, too often have their own baggage to hall around.
Now the haze of the drug he used is finally wearing off and I wish I could serve him a cold one.
December 16th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
Bill,
I’m so sorry it’s been so hard for you. Have you worked with SNAP at all? They’re actually how I got in touch with Kelly. I know they have large LA support groups, and I found that they are incredibly welcoming to CSA survivors from all denominations. I am not nearly healthy enough to offer help to any one except referrals. You’re in my heart, as well as all the other survivors of the perp you speak of.
http://www.snapnetwork.org
-Michelle
January 22nd, 2010 at 1:37 am
I am very sorry to here about this going on in the adventist schools, but is there anywhere that this does not happen. It is the devil just like anywhere else this takes place, but where would it be better than the adventist church? I know that you may have hard feelings about adventists, but I put the blame on the people operating the school not the religion. I am sorry for your case, but please dont take it out on the religion of seventh-day adventists. Adventist people have a choice just like anyone else. If that is the kind of person someone is, is religion going to make a difference of the out come? I went to milo for 2 years and it was great, but if managment cannot take control of these issues then it should not be in opperation. I will be praying for you and any other victims.
April 24th, 2010 at 7:15 pm
Hi Everyone,
My name is Kim, and I too was sexually abused by a man who everyone thought was a great adventist man. He was my mothers husband. Sometimes the people who hurt you the most are the people you trust the most. I went to Milo I know both parties. I know. And I for one think that if you don’t know everything then you should probably keep your thoughts to your self. Milo is a wonderful school full of good people with hearts that are open and warm. You will never find better people anywhere in the whole world. Do I agree that we need to keep an eye on the people we have working for us yes. But I don’t think that people should sue a school instead of the accused. Did you know that no charges were filled untill this year? Get the facts then make your statment.
July 23rd, 2010 at 11:35 am
hello,
my name is alyssa and i went to milo for two years and the first year i was there i had a break through, i told my story to mrs. mcgill and she helped me through the whole thing, she never once stopped believing me and we at that time were not the best of friends, i think she was the most helpfull so no i do not believe this lawsuite i think its bogus. I’ve been in both places the man who molested me from nine till i went to milo and when i said something the staff were all supportive.
personally i think that milo is the best place and the safest to come forward there is now way that one of them would turn you down or look at you like your the one to blame. The adventist society is not perfect yes we have flaws but we dont deny that fact although some might, so no i dont believe that they turned people down and i dont believe that they were so unfeeling that they would tell someone that it was there fault.
also if you are so hurt and so depressed and you needed so much therapy why are you punishing the school, yes they should be more vigulant but who souldnt you cant trust someone ever unless they prove to you they can be trusted, why are you not punishing the one who really did this to your daughter who touched her she is the one who should pay, it would be like saying “i think the family needs to pay for what he did to me” its not their fault that he decided to do those things, stop punishing the school and punish the person who did this to her.
September 5th, 2010 at 9:03 am
Hate to kiss and tell but the Adventist System does have a history of sending abusers to new situations just to get them out of a current problem.
Abusers are very good at covering up and making excuses, as well as blaming the victim if confronted.
So I will say the conference does have a tendency to pass on problems and then passes the buck so as not to be accountable when the abuser hits again and again. So where does this leave the victim…. labeled and discredited!
Wake up!
September 16th, 2010 at 10:37 am
The SDA church DOES and has had a history of covering up and hiding child abuse. I too was a victim of sexual abuse by a SDA school teacher as well as other SDA people. I told someone and the SDA school and church I went to NEVER apologized, never said anything to me, and did NOT offer me any help including my own parents. It’s an awful betrayal and it can cause such damage to a person’s entire life. All these years later it’s still going on in the SDA school’s and churches. I’m glad kid’s are talking about it and reporting it. Like many other churches the SDA church needs to start taking care of it’s children and members. It’s very sad when a church would choose to put so much focus on spreading what they call “the truth” when they won’t face the real truth right in front of them. I would rather help a child who has been hurt from abuse then worrying about the Sabbath Day.
February 4th, 2011 at 2:41 pm
My family has suffered much at the hands of otherwise Godly pastors who we really loved. Our pastors are just not trained to cope with disclosures of abuse.In fact, through research, I have found that there is no seminary of any denomination anywhere in the world where pastors are taught how to deal with disclosures of child abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault or traumatic grief and loss in the core seminary program. We as those in the World to come to Jesus with all their burdens and He will give them rest. Well it is immoral of us to call hurting people to the Church and then have no two clues how to ‘be there’ for them in an appropriate way. I was ostracised by the church for asking for help in our situation of abuse. We weren’t believed, sat down with, or heard in any way. I felt called by God to obtain counselling and seminary training and return to the church to serve as an enlightened pastor. Sadly, as a woman with a heart for advocating for Child Abuse Prevention Strategies in our churches, I have not been utilised for paid ministry. I thank God that people have a voice on this website. I have come across it by accident. I would welcome any correspondence and connection with anyone, pastors, hurting people, prayer partners. May God bless each hurting person that finds their way to this website and I pray that those who do not understand how prevalent abuse is in our church communities will be gentle with their words when responding to those who are hurting. Please look up my website, http://www.compassionatecupministries.ca May God Bless you, Pastor Marion
March 12th, 2011 at 7:17 pm
I went to Milo. It was a great school! The thing I would like to say is that, as my father puts it “we are on the thresh hold of eternity”! After reading the comments on this lawsuit it just reminds me of exactly how close we are to the end of time! It’s so obvious to me that the devil also realizes how close Christ’s second coming is. Just look at the mudslinging and jabs directed mainly at the church instead of the offender. What great publicity for his (the devil’s) cause! Is it any wonder that the devil is willing to stoop to any depths to sour individuals against the church? He does it so openly that it shows his desperation in his panic driven frenzy of gathering as many souls as he can before the buzzer of “game over” sounds. I guess this is just another way of weeding out the weak of heart (not speaking of people who have actually had unspeakable things done to them), another example of weeds growing within the Church. Finally, I’ll leave you with this, “Judge not lest ye be judged”!
March 13th, 2011 at 9:11 pm
Dave,
What you have said is the exact same attitude that kept the abuse covered up in the first place.
The end probably is nie, but what did Jesus say about the treatment of children and justice in a general sense?
Why wouldn’t a church welcome Marion with open arms to work for them? To facilitate the healing of those wounded and isolated.
In some cases the church actively covered for and kept the careers of the abusers going both ‘professional’ and ‘right’ to abuse. By shifting them to another location including other countries some with poor and vulnerable fresh victims.
In my case our abuser (who sexually abused as well) went with the local presadent of the chruch around to a parents house and payed them off after he had beated a child and left welts and brusies up the child spine.
In another case a student wrote to a union presadent about abuse in her school (wide spread and prolific with weapons of teachers choice) the response was minimalised trash with a bit of quintessential spiritial abuse thrown in asking the student to ‘pray’ and consider the position of the school principle who also beat and abused kids anyway.
The churches response was to promote the main abusers to collage positions i.e 18-25 yr old who wouldn’t require beatings just a bit of sexual abuse from time to time instead.(it’s called an affair at that age outside chruches legal resposibility in those days)
Many of these people including myself have never made a full recovery and have now passed on all sorts of tramua to our loved ones and family. (difficult to explain)
Anyone who spoke out at the time and for me it was the 1970s and 80s were seen as trouble makers. . Abuse was Hushed up and abuse WAS minimalised, the victims were quite often blamed for being abused. In many cases the church has taken the same position when the victims come forward years later. Blame them minimalise the abuse or denial altogether.
I was definately given above average treatment when I confronted the church. Maybe because I had a good support network like an SDA minister father and an articulated educated maths teacher mother and a scientist husband who have supported me in my need to seek healing.
I am still so ashamed and disgusted to hear how others were treated and I have seen the proof of their treatment too.
It takes alot of courage to step out and go to the outside world about what has happened to you in a close nit community don’t you think?
p.s I will contact you Marion
March 14th, 2011 at 4:08 am
Dave’s response is a ‘typical’ SDA response. Sweep it under the rug because the devil is hard at work because Jesus is coming soon. My abuse by SDA person’s was back in the 70′s. I was told the same thing back then. If no one speaks up about this or other issues that go on in the church that bring such harm to people then we all stay in denial until Christ returns. I personally go by the fact that silence assumes compliance. It would be like me sitting back and saying, “I am sorry you were abused, but try to forgive and forget because Jesus is coming soon.” No thank you. Christ spoke up about all kinds of injustices. I will do the same.
March 14th, 2011 at 8:06 am
Kimberly’s response is a “Typical” abuse victims response. I am guessing that back in the ’70′s not a lot was done to bring this person to justice so instead of blaming the person who hurt them abuse victims will look for a group or organization to blame for their problems.
Milo might have been the school where this happened but Milo wasn’t the individual who did the reported allegation. Weather that individual is guilty or not, Milo had a standard protocol that they did fallow once the rumors were brought to light.
The point is…MILO did nothing wrong, if the allegations are true then it was the sole act of an individual not an organization. Therefore I submit that we as individuals lay responsibility at the feet of those who committed the crime rather then blame an organization, when they fallowed procedure.
Milo could have swept it under the table and ignored it, they could have try to bribe the family to keep it quite, but they didn’t. They did the right thing and still you find a reason to make it look as though they were there, ignoring what was happening and doing nothing to stop it.
Don’t be so petty as to think that just because something happened to you, you know everything about every incident that ever happens. Just because something similar happened to you doesn’t mean you know jack-squat about what happened at Milo.
Christ spoke out about injustice and horrible things, but he never said any of it without compassion and love. The truth is just because bad things happen doesn’t mean that a whole church or school system should be blamed.
To you Kimberly, I am sorry that you haven’t had the prefect life, but then who has. I know what it is like to be abused by someone who you thought you could trust, but I am adult enough to realize that it wasn’t my churches fault it was one persons fault. It was NOT Milo’s fault, it was the sole act of one individual. Lay the blame at those who’s door it belongs to.
March 14th, 2011 at 10:59 am
I would like to respond to Alyssa in her having trouble believing another’s disclosure. I am so thankful Alyssa that you disclosed to someone who knew what to do. That person has been such a blessing to you. It is really important for you to try to accept that this really is the exception rather than the rule. There is so lile training of our teachers and principals and pastors for it to be the ‘norm’ that a person is looked after as well as you were. I certainly don’t make anything up. I have been utilised from week to week for the past eleven years now by hurting people of all denominiations who have not had a helpful response from their own church leader. It is how all this impacts on evangelism that concerns me the most. I am often criticised behind my back for being someone who ‘puts the Church down.’ But I am the Church too. To simply dismiss and negate those who feel called to be a voice for the voiceless perpetuates unsafeness in our church communities. We have know right inviting people to a church community if it is not a safe community. Ideally, there should be a plaque just inside the entrance of the church that says “Child Abuse Prevention Strategies in Place Here.” so tha if a pedophile comes in the building, he or she will simply turn around and walk out again. THIS is the strongest prevention tactic there is. Sadly, abusers only have to walk just up the street to the next church to be where there are no safety strategies in place. Pedophiles know that the churches are now the only public institions who still do not have mandagory prevention strategies in place. There are more abusers heading for our church children than ever before in North America, because all other public insititutions have wisened up. By the way, I am so thankful that I have just secured a full time paid ministry position in the Seventh-day Adventist denomination and today is my first day. Blessings to you all and let’s be gentle with each other. Pastor Marion
March 14th, 2011 at 2:23 pm
Marry,
You seem to have a lot say about me without knowing me or my full story. Who’s judging who here? I know of female student’s who have gotten pregnant by some SDA teacher’s and had abortions. The SDA church just sent the teacher’s to another state. I’m sure it is difficult for many SDA people to accept that abuse goes on in their churches, school’s and homes. What I hear from your words are anger and that is a natural response. I’m glad your angry. More people need to get angry enough to take action and have a voice. Jesus got angry. I am just brave enough to face not only my own truth but to have witnessed the truth of others. I know what I know. It’s not about being a ‘know it all’. It’s about acknowledging the facts and and speaking out for injustice. When any church focuses more on a prophet or religious doctrine than on the individual people in their own congregation then I have a problem with that. I am free to speak up the same as you. The guilty person’s in my true story are not in jail or on the sex offender’s list because I’ve forgiven them. I had an SDA pastor tell me recently that he would like to help me prosecute these people and would use an SDA attorney to help me do so. I said no. If I did say yes, that would be my decision.
March 14th, 2011 at 3:02 pm
Kimberly….YOU are right. I don’t know your story, I don’t know where you came from or who you are. I don’t know what it was like to be you so long ago, alone trying to face an unthinkable circumstance not knowing what to do. But here is one thing I do know. I know what it is like to be rapped, when you are 6 years old. I know what it is like to go through the process of going to court. I know what it is like to hear not guilty. I know what it is like to forgive those who have hurt me and I know what is like to see those people working at a school filled with unsuspecting victims, because the guilt party was brought to justice.
You are right that I am angry. I am angry at you for criticizing a school when it did the right thing. If it hadn’t, this website wouldn’t be here.
I am angry at Pastor Marion for belittling Alyssa’s experience saying it is an exception to the rule. Obviously it is the rule at Milo because it happened. I am angry. I have every right to be angry. AND so do YOU!
I don’t pretend to know it all. However I bet I know more about this then you do. All I am trying to say is that Milo did the right thing and they are getting the blame for everyone else’s mistakes.
So in conclusion, if it is the Seventh-day Adventist church you have a problem with then tell the them…if it Milo then tell them. But don’t belittle the fact that “For Once” someone somewhere did the right thing.
Finally Kimberly, I want to apologize to you. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t mean too. I would never belittle someones experience and for offending you I am truly sorry. However I do not apologize for defending Milo. They were doing the right thing which is one point all of you seem to be missing.
March 24th, 2011 at 10:41 am
I do have some questions. Once a person becomes a teenager, why would they
allow a person to abuse them? Why not just run?
Small children cannot run but teenagers can. Also, with teenagers, they often don’t understand the importance of modest dress and modest behavior. I am not saying they asked for it, what I am asking is what did you do in place of running:?
March 25th, 2011 at 5:33 pm
The more I read here, the happier I am that I’m no longer a part of the SDA church, or any church for that matter. Crystal, nothing makes me happier that I sued the church than your ignorant and cruel comments. Great thing: with your tithe money I’m sitting in Guatemala eating a Mennonite sticky bun and painting my nails pink and reading a lovely book on American constitutional history. And tomorrow, with your tithe money, I’m going to go buy papaya and pina for my people at the domestic violence shelter I work at and tell them that this was taken from mean non-Christian people who hurt other women for us to enjoy and heal from. And then we’ll dance! And yoga! And maybe eat meat! And wear pants! And wear makeup and smile and be happy! What would EGW say?
March 27th, 2011 at 4:26 pm
Michelle I LOVE your email. You sound free and happy. I’m sorry it is outside the Seventh-day Adventist church, but I understand absolutely why you have chosen to separate yourself. Just do me one favour. Don’t give up on the idea of the SDA church entirely. Our denomination, like so many other denominations, is guilty of not implementing Child Abuse Prevention Strategies and implementing crisis intervention protocol when situations occur. Our pastors are not uniformly trained. Our pastors, to often, are unwilling to see the need for getting informed. When this is the case then it is the church’s responsibility when something occurs. Yes, as others have said, the offender is the guilty one, but if the church has NOT trained their leaders adequately enough then, in essence, the courts see the church leaders as accomplices to the crime because we have allowed the crime. For this reason I got trained as a Seventh Day Adventist Pastor and for this reason I also started a non-profit agency as a resource that would ‘be there’ for those who have been hurt. Please keep enjoying your papaya dn pina. Please also know that I have worked as a crisis counsellor in a shelter for battered women for the past two years. I think I am the first pastor, in my area anyway, to be hired part time in such a secular position. Wear make-up, (I do), smile and be happy! You sound like a great person. God’s blessings to you, Marion
March 27th, 2011 at 4:32 pm
I would just like to add that there are some SDA churches that DO get it, i.e. it is policy to implement protective strategies. It is not enough for indivual leaders within a school or church to know what to do. It needs to be POLICY for the school and for the church. That means that whenever ANYTHING like this happens, that the policy will kick in, that confidentiality of the victim will be kept and that the alleged offender will be kept away from the school or church until the police investigation is over. That if that offender is convicted, incarcerated and released that that offender NEVER be allowed a leadership position again, NEVER be allowed to work in a school again and only allowed to attend church with supervision. If the person is truly repentant he or she will not object to this. Only in this way will we maintain any semblance of safety in our insititutions. We have some great pastors and counsellors in the SDA church in North America. My prayer is that our North American Division and the Canadian Division will make it POLICY for all our communities.
March 28th, 2011 at 9:55 am
I think that what people need to realize is that its not the fact that its an SDA but that its a very messed up person that did those things to you weather or not it he was Jewish, Catholic, Hindu, OR SDA, he was still human and still a sinner. The people who prey on young innocent children should be punished just like if someone killed someone else. but the point that we seem to be missing is not that he was a SDA but that he was a molester that needed to be in jail. the man who molested me went to prison because i didnt sue anyone i told the dean i told the police and they took action, my family didnt know that i did this, my church didnt know, no one knew except for a small handfull. go outside of the church and dont wait around like i did, i mean eventually i did the right thing but it took to long and he fought it but did i sue the church no did i sue my last school no i took them to prison straight off and thats what you need to do.
March 28th, 2011 at 12:03 pm
Allysan,
I sued the church because “allegedly” they knew that the predator who hurt me had an “alleged” juvenile court mandate against him requiring he not be around children. As the counselor the church paid several hundred dollars to be an expert witness said to me, “it was completely preventable.”
When the predator got out of jail after molesting so many kids he started stalking me. I saw him around everywhere. I was talking to someone else hurt by the situation and this person told me that the pastors, my parents’ good friends, had known. I didn’t believe it at first. So I called up Alf Birch, the president at the time to prove this person wrong. I called one of the pastors up who said he had known about an incident where the police was called. Kelly and I both strongly believe that that incident the pastor referred to was a year before the predator was arrested and we both believe that the predator raped me after that incident, although I have always been plain that I am sketchy on the timeline. I was very young.
I called up the conference again and was sent to Risk Management whom I had been referred to before (essentially they’re the insurance company) and they told me that the rapes were my fault because I had been walking around the church. I was 16. I had called the police but they didn’t help me at all. With nothing else to do I offed to become a missionary to get away from the predator who was still around everywhere I went. After I got back from Fiji, I hitched a ride with an old school friend and wandered about California for awhile, until I gained enough courage to do something. The criminal statutes were up before I had even started. I sued the church because they are the reason I was raped. It was completely preventable. The last request I sent in for help for healing was just plain ignored. The church deserves everything they got.
I’m sorry you were hurt so much, too. You had your choice, can you imagine how much it would have hurt if your entire church family refused to talk to you because of taking that person to jail as he so richly deserved? People make the same arguments about what you’ve done. (Look above at Crystal, who is saying that teenage victims are at fault for not fighting enough.) And you deserve justice!
I have no regrets taking the church to court. As they continue to react and not respond lovingly and intelligently I am more and more convinced I did the right thing. I don’t need to say anything, just let them prove me right by their own cruelty. This will not be the last lawsuit, Allysan. A movement has started and the church will be hard pressed to stop it without implementing changes sorely needed. I am far from the only case. I hope you are well in what you do. I am not saying all this for anyone but you. To make the argument you just did is difficult to make without at least partially blaming the survivor, and you are a survivor. You must be very brave to have taken that man to jail.
Pastor Marion, I am no longer a Christian. I prefer to stay far away from organized religion. I wish you luck on your choices, it’s a difficult road you’ve chosen. As Marx said, religion is the opium of the masses, but also the beating heart.
August 18th, 2011 at 7:53 pm
I personally attended Milo and have come away disgusted with the system.
My story is long, with too many details for just a simple note, suffice to say that school is sick and needs attention from the Conference.
I am a “survivor” of sexual abuse, so in short, I’ve been there.
Whatever this girl experienced was not abuse, and anyone who doubts me need only observe the dorm as it exists without visitors.
Homosexuality exists where the two sexes are sequestered, and with Milo under the Bovines…I mean Bovees, proximity rules and hand-holding are held as sacred laws. Of course sticking teenage men and women alone amongst themselves encourages this behavior. Personally I think schools like this should be either coed or totally seperate.
But that’s to say it was sexual at all, and not two girls just comfortable with each other, as we were in the boys dorm, roaming the halls naked, enjoying community showers, sharing beds! Someone is milking the system, a system which doesn’t need to have its condition worsened.
I know what over-reacting parents are like, combined with Mr. Cow.
That school needs an update, with different leaders and a system not based in the 60s.
Sexual abuse, maybe. Kids bringing guns, porn, drugs; that all happened during my two years and no one said a word.